relationship

January 31, 2016 – Creating Sacred Relationships

by

Brenda Wade, P.H.D.
Creating Sacred Relationships

So many of us have a story of how we came to Unity. When I was working my way through the University of Washington, I found that modeling paid better than waiting tables. So I learned to look good even when I was feeling bad. I was working really hard on my studies. I wanted to be in my head. I wasn’t in my feelings, and you know what they say: “If you’re in your head and not in your feelings you are depressed.” I was. I was dissociated. One day I thought I was having a heart attack, but the doctor said it was a panic attack! I had made a habit of inauthentic behavior, of hiding my feelings.

Make a choice of unlocking your feelings, your heart. Right now tap your hearts. There is a very small gland on your heart which releases a hormone when you tap over your heart. In Unity we are all about opening the heart.

About that time a friend tried to tell me about Unity, but somebody’s church was the last thing I wanted hear about. However, for some reason I wandered in one day on a noontime meditation. The minister zeroed in on me and my built up resentments, and told me to unlock what really causes the pain. I opened up. I even told her about my boss. I didn’t like him and he didn’t like me. She said to bless him. Blessing a situation or someone is more powerful than resentment and complaining. So I started blessing my boss, the air he breathes, his clothes, just everything about him. In two weeks I felt better. Soon he even changed his attitude toward me.

In six weeks I was offered my dream job. I hadn’t even applied for it! It was my first national TV show. Similar things happened. Why? Unity gave me the belief I wasn’t alone, that there is something within us that wouldn’t damn me but love me. I had learned to open my heart and connect with other hearts.

We want people to come close, but no, not that close. It’s push-pull. Most often we keep ourselves safe with the blame game. “It’s your fault.” We carry hurt, guilt and shame that we got before the age of 8. Before then, a child believes whatever is wrong in their relationships is their fault. So right now I want you to tap your heart, and say to your 8 year old self, “You are 100% lovable!” Repeat. Take it in deeply. Repeat. That hurt, that wound that brought you to Unity was necessary to get you here. So for that say, “I am 100% grateful for this pain!”

I am 100 % lovable. You are 100% lovable. We are 100% lovable. There are many instances where we can do this. ISIS, you are 100% lovable! The NFL, you are 100% lovable! The Post Office, you are 100% lovable! We are one—it’s the magic of Unity. Bring this spirit of oneness and love to everything.

God bless you. I love you. Every one of us is a light. When we join these lights together there is power that can heal anything!

January 31, 2016 – Creating Sacred Relationships

by
Unity of Walnut Creek, January 31, 2016

Brenda Wade, P.H.D.
Creating Sacred Relationships

So many of us have a story of how we came to Unity. When I was working my way through the University of Washington, I found that modeling paid better than waiting tables. So I learned to look good even when I was feeling bad. I was working really hard on my studies. I wanted to be in my head. I wasn’t in my feelings, and you know what they say: “If you’re in your head and not in your feelings you are depressed.” I was. I was dissociated. One day I thought I was having a heart attack, but the doctor said it was a panic attack! I had made a habit of inauthentic behavior, of hiding my feelings.

Make a choice of unlocking your feelings, your heart. Right now tap your hearts. There is a very small gland on your heart which releases a hormone when you tap over your heart. In Unity we are all about opening the heart.

About that time a friend tried to tell me about Unity, but somebody’s church was the last thing I wanted hear about. However, for some reason I wandered in one day on a noontime meditation. The minister zeroed in on me and my built up resentments, and told me to unlock what really causes the pain. I opened up. I even told her about my boss. I didn’t like him and he didn’t like me. She said to bless him. Blessing a situation or someone is more powerful than resentment and complaining. So I started blessing my boss, the air he breathes, his clothes, just everything about him. In two weeks I felt better. Soon he even changed his attitude toward me.

In six weeks I was offered my dream job. I hadn’t even applied for it! It was my first national TV show. Similar things happened. Why? Unity gave me the belief I wasn’t alone, that there is something within us that wouldn’t damn me but love me. I had learned to open my heart and connect with other hearts.

We want people to come close, but no, not that close. It’s push-pull. Most often we keep ourselves safe with the blame game. “It’s your fault.” We carry hurt, guilt and shame that we got before the age of 8. Before then, a child believes whatever is wrong in their relationships is their fault. So right now I want you to tap your heart, and say to your 8 year old self, “You are 100% lovable!” Repeat. Take it in deeply. Repeat. That hurt, that wound that brought you to Unity was necessary to get you here. So for that say, “I am 100% grateful for this pain!”

I am 100 % lovable. You are 100% lovable. We are 100% lovable. There are many instances where we can do this. ISIS, you are 100% lovable! The NFL, you are 100% lovable! The Post Office, you are 100% lovable! We are one—it’s the magic of Unity. Bring this spirit of oneness and love to everything.

God bless you. I love you. Every one of us is a light. When we join these lights together there is power that can heal anything!

https://www.facebook.com/Dr.BrendaWade/

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November 3, 2013 – Creating Spiritual Partnerships

by


11/3/13 Mike & Michelle Robbins
Creating Spiritual Relationships

AUTHENTICITY is the first tool for developing spiritual relationships which deepen our own spirituality. It can’t be rehearsed. It’s a phenomenon; it’s right now. It’s not authentic to be afraid to ask for what we need or want and expect others to know. Gay Hendricks, Conscious Loving: most conflict is 2 people or groups arguing for the victim position. In any argument or conflict it only takes one person to say something that is undeniably vulnerable, and it is always something emotional and authentic, like what they feel right now or why. So most conflict can be resolved with only one ten minute “sweaty palms conversation”, when you use your Emotional Intelligence—how do I feel, what do I need? —and your Relationship Intelligence, which is learning how state what you need, and ask what you need to do. It’s like you were learning to dance with a partner.

The second tool is APPRECIATION. Ask “How can I support you?” “What do you need?” “Is there something I missed?” It’s also about the spiritual relationship we have with ourselves. Would you appreciate a little more appreciation? Ask for more. “I would like to be acknowledged.” Sometimes it’s, “I need some space.” And when someone expresses appreciation for you, say, “Thank you.” Really receive it. It’s a gift. Any other reply, even countering with another compliment, does not allow appreciation, nor is it authentic.

In the moment, things often don’t look the way we thought. It isn’t so easy. But to never have conflict means someone is lying. That’s the challenge. However. the more authenticity and appreciation in spiritual relationships with others, the deeper is our own spirituality. Mike was explaining to his young daughter about when, as a young man, he had started a very promising professional baseball career but lost it when he broke his arm. Answering her innocent question as honestly as he could, he said that now he wasn’t sad about it, because then he would never have met her mom and they wouldn’t have her. He said he was actually grateful for it. Realizing it all had led him to his beautiful wife and daughters, he was overwhelmed and moved to tears of deep appreciation. Truth, honesty, vulnerability. Authenticity. Appreciation. Trust that there is a greater intelligence and that things work out the way they should!